Scrooge you all!

As we're rapidly approaching the season of good will to all men and good wilma to all women, I thought it might be timely to fire a shot across the bow to some of the jerks who really don't deserve my festive cheer:

• Fiji military: four coups in a decade! what's the excuse this time, you dickless wonders
  
• Burmese junta: at least they're consistent in their tyranny. big crummy deal
  
• Augusto Pinochet: an object lesson in the perils of US intervention
  
• OJ Simpson: surely the worst example of not knowing when to have the good grace to quit
  
• George W Bush: for lowering the debate and only agreeing to consult when the shit has well and truly hit the fan
  
• John Howard: how being a lying opportunist can get you all the way to the top - and keep you there. depressing, isn't it?
  
• Philip Ruddock: a disgrace to his Amnesty badge and a traitor to our democratic traditions
  
• al Qaeda and the Taliban: the spirituality of a rabid dog - if they populate Paradise then I'll take my chances elsewhere